Traffic Accident
Have you ever seen traffic accident? What do you think about this?Traffic accident is very important problem for our country.Turkey has got a lot of traffic accidents every year.Many people die and get injured,so we must take precaution.Traffic accident has got a lot of causes such as carelessnes,not obey the rules,traffic jam.First causes of traffic accident is carelessness.Recently carelessnes is very big problem and many people careless.You should be careful in the traffic. 1 million people die annually because of carelessnes.
second causes of traffic accident is not obey the rules.Many people impatient so not obey the rules.Traffic rules are very important in the traffic.We should obey the rules for avoid a hazard.Traffic fines should increase in this way accidents can be reduced.Traffic rules are necessary for avoid confusion
third causes of traffic accident is traffic jam. Many people has got car.Cars number is increasing every day.
Also a lot of car leads to traffic accident.People should use public transport.This is economic and cheap.In addition to gives less damage to the environment.
To sum up traffic accident has got a lot of causes such as carelessnes,not obey the rules and traffic jam.People should be careful and obey the rules for have not an accident
Mehmet your thesis is appropriate for cause effect essay. I like your causes.
YanıtlaSilhowever, your body paragraphs are too short and you always talk about what we shouldnt do. actually in these parahraphs you should talk about how carelessnesscause accident. what are some examples of carelessnes? in your second body, talk about the rules. what are some of the rules that people dont obey. how do the break the rules, what do they do in traffic?
your third body is also not very clear. what is the connection between accidents and traffic jam? how does traffic jam cause accidents? try to explain more.
moreover, you can support your body paragraphs with statistics, quotations and examples.
your conclusion paragraph seems ok, but you only said "people should be careful and obey the rules." what about traffic jam? you should make a summary of all your topics.